To My what-you-may-call-it

It wasn’t always easy waiting for you as I’m not even sure whether you exist.

I'm writing this because I've been thinking about a few things I want you to know.

Obviously, I love to travel. I will surely welcome you to a life full of love and adventure. I'll introduce you to some places I've been to before. I hope that you'll want to hear my travel stories- the fun, excitement and fears brought about it. I want you to know that my life has purpose apart from and before you. The main reason of this is my only son who's my everyday inspiration. As much as I like traveling, I also love staying at home doing the basics. You'll often see me in the kitchen (a lil bit obsessed with shiny sinks) or in the bathroom- my thinking room!

Deareast, I want you to understand that you can still have a life of your own. I'll support and respect you, your hobbies and more importantly your opinion and views about life. I'll see to it that you'll also have time for boys night out once a week. Isn't it cool?

Maybe I will continue to work a full-time job or work at home while running our own cafe. 

As much as possible, I just want to have fun and sensible conversations. I would love to have coffee or tea time with you while we're singing our favorite songs in the balcony on weekends.

You can count on me as you chase your dreams and I'll help you about investing so we can have something to look forward to and we can retire young. When you're feeling sick or down, I will be the first person that you'd want to call and I promise to take care of you all the time. I'll cook your favorite dish even if there's no special occasion. I'd still kiss and squish you everyday even when we're fifty and grey.

I'll be your number one fan always and your best friend for life!

Lotsa Love and Hugs

Night Changes

Just last weekend, I've looked through some of our photos and videos back from when we're happy. When we went on a trip in the North for a couple of times, those out of the blue videos of yours, the numerous food trips and every after shift walking rituals in Ayala Ave and a lot more. There's so much story to tell but I decided to empty my phone's photo gallery so I won't have to think about them anymore.

Yes, I used to imagine that we would still be best friends until we get old. That kind that can withstand through any changes, breakdowns, distance and years. But you have clearly chose to walk away first without any warning that friendship for you has an expiration date. And even if I'm still wondering what I meant to you all along, you're now just a memory.

Heyy Bes,

Hindi ko na maalala kung kailan kita unang tinawag na Bes. Bago pa man yun naging trending ay yun na ang tawag natin sa isa't-isa. Lalong hindi ko rin maalala kung kailan tayo naging mag best friends. Like a whirlwind, nangyari na lang.

Sadyang malakas yata talaga ang mental connection natin at nagkakasundo tayo sa maraming bagay lalo na pagdating sa music at food trips. Nakaka amazed kung paano tayo pareho mag-isip at kung paano ka ma LSS sa mga old songs ko.

Hindi ko makalimutan yong araw na pinatikim ko sayo ang favorite sisig ko of all time at sinama kita sa Clark dahil tawa tayo ng tawa sa nakita natin. For sure hindi mo makakalimutan ang mga first time experiences mo na kasama ako. Masaya tayo magkasama kahit minsan tayo lang dahil never tayo nauubusan ng kwento. Napa bilib mo nga din ako sa mga idealisms mo sa buhay.

Tapos nagising na lang ako isang araw at na-realized ko nag-iba ka na. Naiwan na ba talaga sa Singapore 'yong best friend na nakilala ko? You've changed into someone who's good at putting on a show stuff. Napansin ko kahit yong maliliit na pagbabago sayo. Kung paano ka naging conscious sa mga sinusuot mo. And you never bother at all kung nagkaka tampuhan tayo about who or this and that. What happened?!? Dati ayaw mo na natatapos ang araw na may tampuhan tayo. Kmusta ka bes? Kmusta ung bespren q? Anything new? May prob ba? Ok ka lng ba jan bes? Lahat yan ay hindi mo na tinatanong as if you never care for me at all. Kahit simpleng text na "hi bes!" ay wala na din. Then you've hurt me in a way that I can't comprehend. Nakalimutan mo ata na kagaya mo ay nababasa ko din isip mo? Sadyang napakahirap mag balance ng guilt at friendship and that you left me with no choice. Alam mo mahal kita dahil tinuring kitang bespren pero pasensya ka na dahil mas mahal ko ang sarili ko. I deserve to be treated well and with respect. 

Sa pag-alis mo bes ay alam kung may naiwan kang genuine na kaibigan, your confidante, personal chef and reflexologist and someone who's crazy enough to keep up with your crazy thoughts. At siya lang naman ang may lakas ng loob na magsabi ng kahit ano sayo at sa kanya mo lang din nasasabi and di mo masabi sa iba kahit sa nanay or gf mo.

Lagi mo sinasabi na gawin lang natin kung ano ang ngpapasaya sa atin. That life should be as simple as that. Kasama ba dito bes ang makitang nasasaktan ang mga taong nagpapahalaga sa atin?

Pero tapos na yun lahat and that I'm okay now. In fact, matagal na talaga akong okay. Simula noong araw na nagbago ka na ay araw-araw ko na rin tinuturuan ang sarili ko na bumalik na lang sa dati. And we both know na darating ang araw na hindi na tayo magkikita or magkaka bonding pa since we do have different priorities.

I'm very grateful that I met you and the lessons I've learned throughout the experience of having you as my best friend. I'm thankful for the chance to know someone like you as some people never do. I missed our conversations and how I was able to tell you everything that was on my mind. Thank you is never enough for all the best times, generosity and for the great things that you did for me and Howard. Here's hoping that you'll learn more about Honesty and Respect in all forms as you go on in your life.

Saan ka man ngayon bes, I wish you peace and contentment as always.

Be great for someone else. 

Hugs, 

A

Friendship- sometimes it just falls apart with no good reason. This isn't true for me as there are for sure a lot of reasons why it ends. May it be in a good way or not.

Guess a lot of us can relate that losing a friend is worse than losing anything. How much more if he or she is one of your best friends? When we know and believe that they should be there for us always. We have this special kind of love that we give to each of our friends and that kind of love should not suppose to fade. If it did easily, then it means that you have not held on to that friendship genuinely and tightly enough.